What Kind of Texter Are You?

A breakdown of texting habits by generation

Telegram Texters - the Silent Generation
You see a text as a sort of telegram, and prefer to send them by dictating what you want to say to an available grandchild. As the features of a standard cellular phone continue to baffle you, you not-so-secretly wish people would stop sending you these "text messages" and make sounds of annoyance whenever your phone gives some indication of having received one. If you do send one yourself, you refrain from adding "STOP" to the end of each line, because that would double the length of time you already take to hunt around on the numpad for each letter you need.

Telephone Texters - Baby Boomers
You mistakenly believe that texting can work as a substitute for actually talking to your children. In fact, you are under the impression that teenagers respond better to texts and you are reaching them "on their level" by sending copious conversational text messages. Though unlike the previous generation, you have mastered the ability to enter words into your phone, autocorrect sometimes betrays you and your texts are featured on WhenParentsText.com.

Email Texters - Generation X
To you, a text message is a short form of email that you can send from anywhere. Look, you can attach a photo! So you do. All the time. In fact, many of your texts consists solely of pictures. You have been known to forward text messages. Ah, the amazing power of the Internet . . . ok, now back to Angry Birds or Farmville.

IM Texters - Generation Y
You grew up on the Internet and probably had more than one different instant message account in your formative years; perhaps you still do, and perhaps you still use ICQ--well, what's wrong with that? Anyway, texting is a way of continuing the instant, text-based conversation you were just having on your laptop in Panera. You use texting conversations to keep yourself amused in boring meetings and gatherings and to avoid that awkward person you don't want to talk to, because your attention is legitimately diverted from real life when you text. If you are honest with yourself, however, you'd rather type out your convo on a full-size keyboard.

Adaptive Texters - Generation Z
Texting is almost another bodily function for you. Your brain has evolved to be able to shift its attention so smoothly and seamlessly between texting and other things that (you think) no one can tell you're doing it. You think the kinds of texts that people older than you send are amusing, but not funny enough to laugh, just maybe smile ironically. If you can't send a text, play a video game, and talk back to your mom, all at once, your peers will label you a "noob."