Monday, December 28, 2009

Important Life Instructions

1. Forgive yourself.
2. Forgive others.
3. Move on!

Repeat as needed.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Love

Love is not a happy ending but a happy beginning.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Listful?

While not exactly listless, I'm decidedly lacking in list. I wish to get back to my listful state.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Clumsy

I have been more clumsy in the past few days than I generally am. On Saturday, not only did I cut myself on two different fingers of my right hand, once opening a soda can (!) and once while sweeping up a broken candle (conveniently cutting myself on the knuckle, where it's hard to heal), but also later that evening I scalded myself with hot tea at Lizzie's apartment. Yesterday, I made hot cocoa out of real chocolate, but foolishly left the pot on with just a bit left in it and thereby burned the remainder. Finally, just today I spilled more tea on myself! Luckily, it was not very hot so didn't burn me, but I have to wonder where my coordination has gone these days.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Overcome

Sometimes you cannot overcome and you have to stop trying, stop struggling and wrestling and muscling. How weak! Weak, weak weakness. After all, though, it's better not to pretend. Here I am, up here on my throne made of styrofoam, so flimsy that I can stand on it for about half a second before it crumbles under my weight. Here I am, watch me roar, hear me dance! Let someone else do the roaring dance. Just be your small self for a while, and be happy.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

How to Combat Over-Emotionalism

You have to be willing to experience, including experience with your emotions. Experience as a whole person. If something hurts, or stings, or aches, you can cry. You can acknowledge it to yourself. Know that this feeling isn't the end, however.

In the end, you are okay. Perhaps, also, in the middle you are okay. A feeling is important, an emotion can be recognized, but in the very fact that you embraced it for what it was, you can find how to place it in its proper order. Emotions are below reason, just as lay people are below religious. It's completely fine, and indeed essential, to have both. It's fine not to feel happy but you have to know that you are. You have to be okay.

Okay sounds like an insipid concept, not as rich or full as happy. But who can go around pummeling into his own mind the fact that he is happy? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, we don't experience our happiness that way. We just live it. And when we stop to feel, we often feel bad. When we feel good, it's a boon and a grace (and a source of gratitude); nevertheless, it's normal to see your emotions as a big bundle of negativity that occasionally washes over your otherwise placid soul. Maybe it is the case, maybe not. What is certainly true is that these bad feelings you occasionally have are not it. The "it" is what you will discover in what you do and not in stopping to feel. Feel, sure, but be okay.

Monday, November 23, 2009

PS

I think it's elegant to put the main point of a communication in the PS.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Virtue

Virtue lies in putting on your mascara, even when you don't feel like it.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Yes

To love you have to bring your "yes" to the other, without bringing also the difficulty of that "yes."

Monday, November 9, 2009

Overuse of Parentheses

I just wrote an email and, looking back over it, I can see I sadly overused parenthetical expressions. I had no less than seven sets of parentheses! Even the salutation included persons in parentheses; then, each of the four short paragraphs had at least one set included; luckily, however, I didn't find a way to put parentheses into my closing. If I had, it would only have completed my ruin. I need to invest in dashes!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Men

How frail and helpless men are at times! I do not mean this to be condescending. Without the inner solace of a woman, men have trouble absorbing the pummels of daily living, especially unassisted by grace. Moreover, men cannot easily separate themselves from their work; their identity is bound up in the tossing and turning ship of external affairs.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Food

With a microwave-fried egg, a piece of crystallized ginger, several spoonfuls of ice cream, a cinnamon roll, and a cup of hot pomegranate tea for breakfast, what could possibly go wrong today?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Contingency

Have you ever noticed how everything is dependent on everything else? No one ever proved conclusively that risibility is an attribute of God, but the adage of Him laughing at your plans makes complete sense when you consider that He knows everything going on in every place, the thoughts in every person's mind before they are even thought, the future and the past, all in a dense, dynamic, and simple act of knowledge. Well, that's God. We, on the other hand, know nothing. It's as if we have a page of a book with small print thrust right up against our nose. If we squint and really try, we can imagine we make out a word or two. Then we say, "Aha, with this word or two, I now know the entire story written in this book. Let me now act upon it!" OK, I know not everyone thinks this way--some wise people realize how minuscule their knowledge is--but you have to admit it's a temptation. So, here in my mind are some plans. I know they are contingent, I know it's unlikely they will come to anything, but nevertheless: here they are.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Allowed

I am allowed to feel how I feel. I have to be allowed, or else I would be in an extremely dicey situation, always disobeying a rule it is impossible for me to obey. I can, of course, try to change the way I feel. But I can't change the way I feel by denying I feel a certain way in the first place. Then I have no starting point. Sometimes if you leave it alone, it will go away. On the other hand, sometimes it doesn't. I'm beginning to wonder if I need a fresh change.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Moments with Christendom Friends

I announce to a room full of people, "I'd like to marry a guy who can beat the crap out of someone else, but doesn't actually do anything like that." I receive several nods, and then a couple of my hearers go on to define in what way one can be said to be prepared to beat the crap out of someone, whether physically or mentally, and how the potential for that kind of action can be gauged. Later, I discuss with one of the guys how the passion of anger ties in to the ability for quick and retributive action in such a case. These types of moments are commonplace when your guy friends have bachelors' degrees from Christendom College.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Who Says You Can't Savor Junk Food?

I just love the melt-in-your mouth flavor of preservatives. Oh crispy goodness of the handlessly prepared Austin cracker!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Nothing to Say

It's hard not to feel like I have nothing to say nowadays. Perhaps every now and then we just need a time of taking in, without criticism, the good things of life. Perhaps, on the other hand, I need to battle my mental laziness. I certainly feel it today. Small chunks of items to put on my mind are best. If someone were to set a complex math problem before me, I would be hard pressed to complete it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Criticism

It may be a comfort to know that no matter how good you get at something, you will probably still be criticized. In fact, the better you get, the more criticism will fly your way. A case in point is today's great soprano singers: do a quick search on Natalie Dessay, Cecilia Bartoli, or Anna Netrebko, and you will find not only clips of their music, biographies, and the like, but also scathing critics of each. As we like to say at our house, de gustibus non est disputandum, so there's no point in arguing with these critics (or with agreeing with them, either). The fact is that the singers listed above have risen to fame through their talent and hard work. The quality of their singing is on a different level. Nevertheless, they still receive a lot of negative comments, perhaps because their vocal quality is not to some people's taste and also perhaps because, since they have gotten so good, people hold them to an even higher standard. All this is a lesson that critiques and negative feedback should never discourage you from aiming high and from remaining confident in the accomplishments you have already attained.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Driving a Car

Your life is like driving a car. Don't drive it too fast or you will spin out of control. Always look where you are going and maintain your focus. Drive with the windows down for an optimal journey.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Anastasia

Anastasia is my fish. When I don't have anything else in particular to do, I like to watch her frolic and zip back and forth in her fish bowl on top of my mini-fridge. I keep a close eye on her activities, because I know I need to change her water regularly. I should change it every week. Usually, however, I wait until the water looks messy at the bottom and Anastasia looks unhappy. I can tell she's unhappy because she doesn't have her usual pep in swimming around and because her color, usually a vibrant blue hue since she's a betta fish, becomes duller. Then I know I really must change the water and I do.

Today, I thought, "I should not let the water (and my fish) get to that state before doing anything about it." I realized also that this is what I do to myself, both in my spiritual life and in other ways. My goal is to keep Anastasia alive for at least a year: I got her in April and she hasn't expired yet. I should make it my goal for her to thrive, and for myself to thrive, and not just to get by doing the bare minimum.