The Disingenuous Nature of Proclaiming How Happy You Are Being Single

If I read another article about how wonderful it is to dine alone, I think I'm going to puke my Chipotle burrito.

Basically, I have come to loathe any and all articles saying how great it is to be single, how you shouldn't wait to find a partner in order to have a good time, how you should buy your own fine china instead of imagining your wedding registry, how blessed you are to be unencumbered by babies, etc. The thing about these articles is that they all have important kernels of truth and are accompanied by generous helpings of self-satisfaction: live the life you have, not the one you wish you had! Seize the moment! Go buy things and take selfies!

On the other hand, they're all bullshit.

The reason this is so is because partial truth is more subtle than outright lies. In fact, there are lots of "perks" to being single. However, there is no perk so great that the ultimate unhappiness of being unmarried and without a family of your own is overcome. What I'm saying is: you're all unhappy, so just admit it.

I, for one, have given up thinking that there's something wrong with me just because at times I feel completely miserable about being single. I think this is normal, and its very normalcy is comforting. It's natural to want to have a family of your own, instead of live in a rented house, no matter how adorable, with a roommate who, though fabulous, will never substitute for a significant other.

It's completely understandable to come home from a beautiful experience of nature or an amazingly fun party with friends and feel SO VERY ALONE. It's understandable to feel alone, because you are alone.

And that's what I think our culture doesn't get anymore: objective truth is way more comforting than a bunch of touchy-feely nonsense designed to make you feel better for the moment. Sometimes, like in Inside Out, the truth is that you're sad. The truth is that it's okay to be sad.

So yeah, embrace the upsides of your single life. Don't mope. That much is obvious. But please, PLEASE don't tell me how wonderful it is to be single, how you're not waiting to get married, how you're not looking around seeing if there's anyone you can date who might even remotely work as a potential spouse.

I just don't believe you.

Repurpose Your Social Media

Having recently joined a fairly prominent dating website, I can't help but think what I usually think when I have buyer's remorse: "Why did I pay for something that I could get for free?"

In fact, what am I doing on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. (assuming I'm on any of these--except you all know I'm on the first one) if I'm not using them to my advantage, dating-wise?

After all, what is a dating site but a site where you make random connections with people, send them "smiles" or other basically affirming messages designed to give the other person the knowledge that, in fact, you think of them as a human being that you might actually spend time with, at least in theory?

Why not use social media for that? It's all there, at your fingertips: the ability to "like" someone's posts or pictures, send them public or private messages, comment on relevant details to their lives (at least their lives as displayed online), etc.

You could even ask someone out. It's a daring concept, I know.

Still, what do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing, because it's completely free! It's like going running, something you probably should be doing anyway, costs nothing, and basically you just need to go do it. (And some people hate running, so maybe the metaphor extends in ways that I haven't fully explored.)

I think that's all I've got for now. Carry on!

Are you being entertained?

Life is not boring. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Actually, that's true. We are constantly bombarded with media that stimulate our senses and cause us to think that the normal, slow pace of life is "boring" rather than rich with possibility. Since we cannot wait for the next exciting or amusing thing, we rush to find something to entertain us.

Sometimes when I find myself antsy, dissatisfied, apathetic, etc., I ask myself this simple question: are you being entertained? This question helps me refocus and laugh at myself. What is the purpose of my life anyway? Are the people around me brought to me for entertainment's sake? Is the work I do meant to amuse me and help me while away the hours until I die?

No!

Life has a much greater purpose than the passive, ambition-killing notion of "being entertained." I need to remember it and focus on it, rather than letting acedia have free reign in me.