Friday, September 12, 2014
Happy Endings
I fail to see the beauty of a failed romance. To me, if the people don't end up together, it's not beautiful or romantic. It's kind of sad and pathetic. Either they didn't know themselves well enough or the other person well enough, or basically it was some convoluted tale of human choice gone awry and emotions getting the best of everything, and to me that's the antithesis of the good. A good love story is when people overcome challenges to grow in love and virtue and they end up committed in the sacrament of matrimony, striving to love each other and love God more every day.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Jar Musings
Looking at some jars, I started to wonder: if a dead bug were in your pasta sauce, how would you ever know?
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Negativity
The best thing to do when you're feeling negative is to spill it all over the Internet. Oh wait, no, that's actually not right.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Introducing Yourself to the Latin Mass
The Mass is like a pool of water, crystal clear and deep. If you pay attention only to the surface, you will mainly see your own reflection. On the other hand, if you look down into the water, you will behold the treasures in its depths.
If you've never been to the Latin Mass, the best thing you can do to prepare for it is to go to your regular Mass--but don't go like you always go, sort of glazed over and half-steeling yourself for whatever irritating thing the priest might say or do. Instead, go prepared to peer into the depths of the mystery before you. What is happening when the priest moves to the altar or says a particular prayer? What does the order of the prayers and the readings in the Mass mean? Ponder these things in prayer.
Then, when you go to the Latin Mass, do the same. Carefully observe what goes on at the altar of sacrifice. Realize that each movement the priest makes has a meaning, that each prayer (no matter how incomprehensible the language might be to you) falls in a specific place and serves a specific purpose in light of the Mystery of Christ's self-immolation. I don't recommend that you follow your hand missal or red paperback pew missal slavishly for your first time. Rather, recollect that the Mass you attend in Latin, in the older (extraordinary) form, is simply the first standardized liturgy, the one from which the Mass you attend in your parish originates.
As you actively watch and take in the Mass in the Extraordinary Form, it is handy to keep in mind some specifics. First of all, you must be aware that the majority of the prayers in this form of the Mass are pronounced in a low voice or silently by the priest. You might miss the exact beginning of Mass, because the Introductory Rites start at the foot of the altar and continue for some time (and when first the priest, then the altar boys, bow for an extended period, it is when each in turn are praying the Confiteor, the "I confess to almighty God," which you too may pray along with the altar boys who recite it for you). When in doubt, make the Sign of the Cross.
After the Kyrie, Gloria, and Collect (introductory prayer), the priest will proclaim one reading, in either the Old or New Testament, depending on the season, and then a psalm verse, which either the choir will sing or the priest will recite; after that, all will stand for the Gospel, which will be proclaimed from the opposite side of the altar. According to custom, the reading and Gospel may be repeated in English before the homily. The Creed will follow the homily and then immediately the Offertory: the Offertory prayers will take some time and you may either read them along with the priest or interiorly bring your gifts to the altar and prepare yourself for the transubstantiation about to occur at the priest's fingertips.
When the choir sings (or the priest recites) the Sanctus, you know the Eucharistic Prayer is beginning--if it is the choir singing, the priest will silently begin the Eucharistic Prayer underneath the chant. When the bell rings once, it is the moment just before the Consecration, the "Hanc igitur," at which point you must focus your attention on the Lord. After the Consecration, the rest of the Mass is taken up with preparing for the Holy Communion. If you are to receive Communion, you will go up and kneel at the communion rail, tilt your head up, open your mouth and slightly stick out your tongue; the priest will pray that the Body of Jesus Christ preserve your soul unto eternal life as he places the Host on your tongue, and will supply your "Amen" so you may remain silent and receptive.
These are just a few thoughts that might help you prepare yourself to go to your first Tridentine Mass, and I hope you find them helpful. By no means are they an exhaustive review of the Mass, nor do they show you how to use a hand missal effectively (something you will either have to muddle through on your own or, better, get a knowledgeable friend to sit with you at Mass and help you) or explain at any length the beautiful prayers of the Mass. There are riches here that will take you more than one experience to discover. I believe that anyone who comes to the older form of the Mass with an open mind and a prayerful heart will come to understand its beauty and timelessness, so please do give it a chance!
If you've never been to the Latin Mass, the best thing you can do to prepare for it is to go to your regular Mass--but don't go like you always go, sort of glazed over and half-steeling yourself for whatever irritating thing the priest might say or do. Instead, go prepared to peer into the depths of the mystery before you. What is happening when the priest moves to the altar or says a particular prayer? What does the order of the prayers and the readings in the Mass mean? Ponder these things in prayer.
Then, when you go to the Latin Mass, do the same. Carefully observe what goes on at the altar of sacrifice. Realize that each movement the priest makes has a meaning, that each prayer (no matter how incomprehensible the language might be to you) falls in a specific place and serves a specific purpose in light of the Mystery of Christ's self-immolation. I don't recommend that you follow your hand missal or red paperback pew missal slavishly for your first time. Rather, recollect that the Mass you attend in Latin, in the older (extraordinary) form, is simply the first standardized liturgy, the one from which the Mass you attend in your parish originates.
As you actively watch and take in the Mass in the Extraordinary Form, it is handy to keep in mind some specifics. First of all, you must be aware that the majority of the prayers in this form of the Mass are pronounced in a low voice or silently by the priest. You might miss the exact beginning of Mass, because the Introductory Rites start at the foot of the altar and continue for some time (and when first the priest, then the altar boys, bow for an extended period, it is when each in turn are praying the Confiteor, the "I confess to almighty God," which you too may pray along with the altar boys who recite it for you). When in doubt, make the Sign of the Cross.
After the Kyrie, Gloria, and Collect (introductory prayer), the priest will proclaim one reading, in either the Old or New Testament, depending on the season, and then a psalm verse, which either the choir will sing or the priest will recite; after that, all will stand for the Gospel, which will be proclaimed from the opposite side of the altar. According to custom, the reading and Gospel may be repeated in English before the homily. The Creed will follow the homily and then immediately the Offertory: the Offertory prayers will take some time and you may either read them along with the priest or interiorly bring your gifts to the altar and prepare yourself for the transubstantiation about to occur at the priest's fingertips.
When the choir sings (or the priest recites) the Sanctus, you know the Eucharistic Prayer is beginning--if it is the choir singing, the priest will silently begin the Eucharistic Prayer underneath the chant. When the bell rings once, it is the moment just before the Consecration, the "Hanc igitur," at which point you must focus your attention on the Lord. After the Consecration, the rest of the Mass is taken up with preparing for the Holy Communion. If you are to receive Communion, you will go up and kneel at the communion rail, tilt your head up, open your mouth and slightly stick out your tongue; the priest will pray that the Body of Jesus Christ preserve your soul unto eternal life as he places the Host on your tongue, and will supply your "Amen" so you may remain silent and receptive.
These are just a few thoughts that might help you prepare yourself to go to your first Tridentine Mass, and I hope you find them helpful. By no means are they an exhaustive review of the Mass, nor do they show you how to use a hand missal effectively (something you will either have to muddle through on your own or, better, get a knowledgeable friend to sit with you at Mass and help you) or explain at any length the beautiful prayers of the Mass. There are riches here that will take you more than one experience to discover. I believe that anyone who comes to the older form of the Mass with an open mind and a prayerful heart will come to understand its beauty and timelessness, so please do give it a chance!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Men Are Great
Every now and then, I find an irony in something commonly passed over and it makes me both laugh and think. One example, most recently, is in the fact that single women often inveigh against the state of men in our culture, which brings about a self-fulfilling defeatism on the question of "whether there are any good men left." In fact, why should there not be at least as many good men as there are good women?
I suppose one could give plenty of answers as to why: that men are besieged on all sides by pornography, that the culture expects less of them due to feminism, etc. I don't know if any of these answers are so much answers as they are excuses. They are excuses women make for themselves for why they aren't finding anyone to marry (or, if married, why their husbands don't act the way they want), unilaterally blaming men for a problem that has two sides.
In fact, men and women can't easily get along. One cultural problem that DOES come to bear on this matter is the continual downplaying of sexual differences, leading many to believe that the differences between the sexes are minimal and largely unimportant. However strongly we may adhere to traditional values, this sense of "men and women really aren't that different" probably still has affected us, both men and women, in the interpersonal sphere of our lives. So we underestimate how difficult it is to get along with each other and how small problems can easily become big ones due to these differences.
When it comes to dating relationships, these differences also play a huge role in why women become (or are tempted to become) embittered towards men: women expect a level of consideration from men that is almost impossible for them to provide, especially at the beginning of the relationship. Don't mistake me, I am not saying that women should expect men to behave badly towards them--quite the reverse! What I am saying is that women expect men to be like women in how they form friendships, instantly to begin a pattern of mutual self-giving in which giving on one side begets even more giving on the other side.
Unfortunately, men do not approach relationships this way. In a nascent relationship with a woman, a man takes a woman's generosity and gift as an indication that he is doing great and should change nothing, not as a challenge to give more himself. I don't know why that is--probably there is some psychological explanation--but it is what I have seen, time and time again. So naturally generous women become frustrated with men for simply behaving in a way that is natural to them and that, from the outside, may make it seem that men are "naturally selfish."
If I had found a solution to this problem, the likelihood is that I would not be writing this post at all. Actually, the whole thing mystifies me. But my point, and why I titled the post "Men Are Great" is that I don't think men are to blame for problems in relationships, broken hearts, etc. I think that it's just hard for men and women, respectively, to put themselves in the other sex's shoes, so to speak. We expect different things and we behave in patterns that are so ingrained that it is hard to tell even that we are doing it.
Women need to expect more from men, not less, to believe that there are plenty of "great guys" out there, not just the ones that our friends have already married; most of all, women need to STOP giving, making excuses, and settling for behavior that they instinctively feel is less than what they deserve. What men need to do I don't even know, but I do know there are a lot of great ones out there, so there is no need for women to have a cynical attitude about the other sex--that's not going to help anything.
I suppose one could give plenty of answers as to why: that men are besieged on all sides by pornography, that the culture expects less of them due to feminism, etc. I don't know if any of these answers are so much answers as they are excuses. They are excuses women make for themselves for why they aren't finding anyone to marry (or, if married, why their husbands don't act the way they want), unilaterally blaming men for a problem that has two sides.
In fact, men and women can't easily get along. One cultural problem that DOES come to bear on this matter is the continual downplaying of sexual differences, leading many to believe that the differences between the sexes are minimal and largely unimportant. However strongly we may adhere to traditional values, this sense of "men and women really aren't that different" probably still has affected us, both men and women, in the interpersonal sphere of our lives. So we underestimate how difficult it is to get along with each other and how small problems can easily become big ones due to these differences.
When it comes to dating relationships, these differences also play a huge role in why women become (or are tempted to become) embittered towards men: women expect a level of consideration from men that is almost impossible for them to provide, especially at the beginning of the relationship. Don't mistake me, I am not saying that women should expect men to behave badly towards them--quite the reverse! What I am saying is that women expect men to be like women in how they form friendships, instantly to begin a pattern of mutual self-giving in which giving on one side begets even more giving on the other side.
Unfortunately, men do not approach relationships this way. In a nascent relationship with a woman, a man takes a woman's generosity and gift as an indication that he is doing great and should change nothing, not as a challenge to give more himself. I don't know why that is--probably there is some psychological explanation--but it is what I have seen, time and time again. So naturally generous women become frustrated with men for simply behaving in a way that is natural to them and that, from the outside, may make it seem that men are "naturally selfish."
If I had found a solution to this problem, the likelihood is that I would not be writing this post at all. Actually, the whole thing mystifies me. But my point, and why I titled the post "Men Are Great" is that I don't think men are to blame for problems in relationships, broken hearts, etc. I think that it's just hard for men and women, respectively, to put themselves in the other sex's shoes, so to speak. We expect different things and we behave in patterns that are so ingrained that it is hard to tell even that we are doing it.
Women need to expect more from men, not less, to believe that there are plenty of "great guys" out there, not just the ones that our friends have already married; most of all, women need to STOP giving, making excuses, and settling for behavior that they instinctively feel is less than what they deserve. What men need to do I don't even know, but I do know there are a lot of great ones out there, so there is no need for women to have a cynical attitude about the other sex--that's not going to help anything.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Misplaced Confidence
Misplaced confidence in another person, when discovered to be misplaced, leads to adjustments.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Thank You
Those two simple words can reorient your life: "thank you." It's often noted that it is much easier to bitch and moan than to have a truly grateful attitude, and that choosing the easier route will make your life a huge burden of negativity, but somehow it failed to escape me how much others need gratitude and appreciation.
Yesterday, on a FB friend's wall, I saw written, "A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected." That made me realize how much thanks can mean to other people--which sounds obvious, but honestly, I don't particularly expect or care about being thanked for what I do (though I do like it), so it might not occur to me to be as outwardly grateful to others for what they do. In fact, making an effort to thank people also CREATES an attitude of gratitude in oneself: saying "thank you" reminds you to be inwardly thankful as a general principle.
Ultimately, Christians should say, "Deo gratias," thanks be to God, but that doesn't come out of thin air. We don't instinctively say thank you to God for all the gifts (and crosses) he sends us, because we are fallen human beings and more focused on ourselves than on anything else. "Does this please me? Well, it is only my due." That is the selfish, instinctive attitude that being grateful overcomes. How to start overcoming? Just say thanks!
Yesterday, on a FB friend's wall, I saw written, "A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected." That made me realize how much thanks can mean to other people--which sounds obvious, but honestly, I don't particularly expect or care about being thanked for what I do (though I do like it), so it might not occur to me to be as outwardly grateful to others for what they do. In fact, making an effort to thank people also CREATES an attitude of gratitude in oneself: saying "thank you" reminds you to be inwardly thankful as a general principle.
Ultimately, Christians should say, "Deo gratias," thanks be to God, but that doesn't come out of thin air. We don't instinctively say thank you to God for all the gifts (and crosses) he sends us, because we are fallen human beings and more focused on ourselves than on anything else. "Does this please me? Well, it is only my due." That is the selfish, instinctive attitude that being grateful overcomes. How to start overcoming? Just say thanks!
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