"Will you take me . . . to the ball?"

Like Barbara Manatee, I find myself wishing I could go to the 1940s Ball on Friday night, but I have neither tickets nor the money to buy any. However, I do get to sing for a lovely First Friday/Immaculate Conception Vigil Mass at my parish, so all is not lost for that evening. I could go home and pray the Rosary. There will be plenty of time for dancing next year, I hope!

Guys, guess what?

I am totally a soprano.  :D  I know this because, reclining here on the couch, I sang along with Renee Fleming singing "He Shall Feed His Flock," and it kind of worked!

Virginia Cold

They said, yes it got cold here, but it's a dry kind of cold so not as bad.  In fact, I experienced this phenomenon visiting here last winter, when the temperatures were certainly low but the dryness and the sun kept you from feeling the full force of it.  I am here to tell you: it is cold and NOT in a dry way right now!  It's full-on Virginia cold, overcast, looking like it will snow any moment (and probably will), and just overall a good day to stay indoors.  That said, tonight is Saturday night and I'm going out!  Cold be darned.

That Song

It's so maddening to have a snatch of a song stuck in your head and not be able to identify it, not just because you don't remember the rest of the song, but also because you probably never knew the title and all the lyrics are probably as vague and incoherent as are the ones of the snatch you CAN remember.  It goes like this: da da DAA da da da, DAAA da da da daaaa.  Or something.  It might be classic rock.

Climbing with a Polish Guy

Before moving squarely back into my information overload and further musings on graduate student life, I must say a few words about the last hurrah of summer I've experienced in the past few days: going rock climbing with a random Polish guy I met on rockclimbing.com.

First of all, it's been darn inconvenient! Initially (meaning, before school started and work happened and I realized there was no way), I had hoped to set aside Thursday through Sunday solely for climbing. However . . . no. I had to renege on my promises, which made me feel guilty of course, but there was no way around it because of my work schedule and commitments. Work is a good thing--and it helps pay for expensive climbing gear!

Second, it's been a blast. I do love climbing: maybe not every day, maybe not every moment, but there's just something about getting out there, pushing your limits, winding up with dirt under your fingernails. It's great.

Third, Amadek (the Polish guy) is interesting. Not to generalize, but I tend to find people from Europe interesting to begin with, simply because they have a way different perspective on the world and its happenings from what we get here in the U.S. So there's that. And he's also a really good climber, unfailingly kind to me (in putting up all the top ropes and cleaning the routes when I can't--basically the boyfriend-climber role, without the benefits), VERY phlegmatic, seems to make himself at home anyplace, and also gives the impression of being at least two or three years younger than he is. I have to admit, too, that I have the typical American girl delight in the cute accent, such as the way he emphatically says "nooo" or "let's go!" or "yes, of course" or "I suppose"--you have to wonder where people pick up these quirks in a second language.

So, even though I climbed only yesterday (Saturday) and part of Thursday afternoon, I think it's been a good and broadening experience to have. A lot of my limits and my comfort zone levels have been pushed, and in ways that I didn't expect. For instance, I didn't realize how much my stress levels were affected by not having a really GOOD idea what I would be doing from one day to the next, or being fully able to drive that scheduling process. I also have a better understanding of how exposure (or lack of exposure) on the rock affects my feelings and mental processes during rock climbing. A lot of good stuff like that. In short, my life is beautiful and amazing and thanks be to God and my good angels for keeping me safe, if not quite sane. :)

TMI

Agh!!!! Too much information . . . this could never be truer than in the first week of classes in a library and information science program. That is all.

IT Person

I'm a bit tired of being pigeonholed as an IT person. Clearly, I don't want to sit at a desk and do software development, because that is precisely what I've left behind. Still, my resume is chock full of the stuff: technologies, IT skills, computer literacy. It's all very good and very "marketable," but not extremely exciting to me. I'd rather get in people's heads (not literally) and figure out what is really best for us to do from the perspective of wisdom. It might very well be less technology rather than more, or the same amount--I don't know yet. I feel it will be very important for me to explore these ideas, however, in the coming days. I need to make a plan.

A Change of Pace

For the past several weeks, I have been living life on a fairly relaxed schedule, with only a few things to "get done" each week and very few appointments beyond daily Mass. I sense that is about to change. Grad school starts Monday and with it some very significant time commitments. Also, at some point I am praying work will arise for me. I really wanted to have everything "all lined up" but organizationally my life still leaves quite a bit to be desired, not least because there are still random belongings, papers, and laundry strewn across the floor of my room. About this something must be done. Moreover, like Emma Woodhouse, my attempts at a serious course of personal reading have come mostly to nothing, so the prospect of a large amount of academic reading is rather frightening. Reading? Yes, I suppose I remember how. Writing too, for that matter.

Writing Regularly

As part of our graduate student orientation, the writing center lady (who, by the way, was just really cool) said that we should write regularly, rather than spontaneously. So here I am. I am writing.

Renaissance Singer Hair

I have Renaissance singer hair. Women who sing Renaissance music generally have nondescript hairstyles, especially if their hair is straight. We are not known for beautiful hair. The exceptions might be ladies with long, curly locks, which always look very alluring and yet remain in keeping with the low-maintenance Renaissance look. Men Renaissance singers, for whatever reason, tend to have more exciting hair.

More Sweat

Yesterday, I hiked up and went rock climbing on Old Rag, and more sweat left my body than has ever done so in a 24-hour period.

All the Ways I Succeed

Today's post is about how I do awesome things. I really do. I have great experiences all the time. My own big problem is that I don't push myself quite enough. I stop just short of a pain point, mostly--exertion, but comfortable exertion. It must be bad, spiritually. Anyway, I've decided to list all the ways I succeed on here, in an effort to get myself motivated (and making blog posts). Once my new camera arrives, you might even get photos. The main kinds of photos you'd get, though, will be of a sweaty me after a workout, because that is one of the primary ways I intend to succeed. In fact, I have just finished a 30-minute workout video, which I managed to complete in its entirety despite glitches and copious unwanted perspiration. It wasn't that hard, in hindsight, but at the time my body felt whiny. So, there's one!

Speak Less

Lately, I've had this awful post-cold cold symptom of coughing my voice to bits. This means that I really can't talk very much (and when I do, it sounds truly dreadful). Over the weekend, then, when I was meeting some new people, I found myself quite silent around them. I consciously spoke less and was less chatty than I normally would have been. And I became aware . . . that this was a good thing! I could show good will and inject a modicum of charm and humor, with only a few words over the course of several hours. It's great for humility to realize that people might not really be that keen on listening to your chatter in the first place. I might try this silence thing more often.

Splatter

My friend just linked to me, and I can't help but wonder, "Why am I linked?" People with other blogs, including my friend, actually write on them. They use concepts such as sentences and paragraphs. Fancy. They also add graphics sometimes. When I make use of this little blog-thing, I can't say with honesty I set out to write anything. Really, I just splatter.

Chia Tattoos

me: if you get a tattoo on your leg, do you still have to shave it?
Kathleen: unless it's a tattoo of a furry animal

Write More Letters

I have been thinking to myself that I need to write more letters. I haven't actually written any yet. I'm just thinking about it so far.

Murder

I've been seeing the headlines about the killing of Trayvon Martin, a horrible tragedy. I have to pause and wonder, though, why we need to bring RACE into the forefront so severely as to have rallies about it. I am not saying that racists don't still exist--clearly they do--or that Trayvon's killer was not racist, as he most probably was. My thought, however, is that the larger problem besides racism is actually hatred. That someone could amass enough hatred in their psyche to murder another human being is the real problem. And there are plenty of other families whose children are killed, murdered, for this very reason. It might not be because the child was black or hispanic or any other race, but simply because the killer (a high school student who shoots his classmates, for instance) had enough hatred to murder. So what is the answer to racism? Racism isn't the problem. Hatred is the problem. Hatred for ANY reason, because any reason to hate is a bad reason. We hear so often that such and such murder was "a senseless tragedy," but what does that say about Trayvon Martin's murder? Because it was likely racially motivated, does that make it any less "senseless"? Are we acknowledging that in general there's a lack of logic in intense, murderous hatred, but not in racially-motivated hatred? Clearly not. We need to pray for conversion, and for the opposit of hatred, love: that love and examples of love will be offered to young people, and that they will reject the values of revenge and hatred. That is the only realistic path to stopping murder in all its forms.

Treats

All I want today are treats. So far, I've had a pumpkin spice Clif bar, as well as a toasted tortilla, and a slice of bread with orange marmalade--not to leave out my Blueberry Green Tea. And I still want more treats! Chocolate, please. Yum, please. Lent?

Skiing

On Monday, I went skiing. I am so over skiing and the fact that I ski. I mean, I just realized, I don't have to like it every moment that I'm out there. Skiing in Colorado is scary at first, because there is a LOT of space, which to my underconfident mind means, a lot of space in which to fall. And fall, of course, I did. I only had one really bad spill, which left me with a bent ski pole and a nasty bruise. It was on one of the "blue" slopes, though, which meant I was trying to push myself. To be specific, it was on Northstar on Breck's Peak 8; this trail totally defeated me, as I struggled three times to ski it without falling down and failed each time. The first two times, I fell in the exact same spot. The last time, I thought I was doing better, got well past that spot, was skiing just fine, and then lost concentration and had my "bad" fall. Ick. I guess I am improving, though . . . and I can always get a new ski pole next season, I reckon.

Salads

I can't let myself dwell on the fact that I largely eat things like salads now, and apples for snacks, etc. It's too typical, and if I think about it long enough, it gets demoralizing.

Hair!

Somebody needs to help me with my hair. I bet, as I walk around in public, there are people thinking, "She looks pretty nice, but the HAIR? Girl needs help!" I just let it do whatever. My bangs, though existent, are intractable. I should trim them, perhaps. I should probably just go in to Amy and see if she can help me. But knowing me, and knowing Lent, I won't. Besides, I really ought to schedule the more health-related appointments, for teeth cleaning and an eye checkup, first before I go blowing money on a probably lost cause.

Oh, and Sugar

I told myself I would not have any sweeteners for Lent (no honey, brown rice syrup, or obviously, the white sugar itself), and already I'm feeling the deprivation. I'm going to waste away!

Lenten Resolutions

1. To stop being late to things
2. To put on makeup every day
3. To abstain from coffee
4. To not go shopping, except for fruits and veggies
5. To say a prayer every morning thanking God for the gift of a new day

Fridays: Refrain from using the computer in the evening.

No Jeans Compare

There are few things more depressing than misjudging your size of jeans when ordering online and ending up with two pairs of jeans that you can't even button. In hindsight, why did I even order jeans from Lands End? I have three perfectly good, if old, pairs of jeans--two of which were handed down to me. One is a pair of dark wash, stretch, bootcut jeans that belonged to my mom, which I am wearing today--they look sooooo good. Another is a very worn in pair of Banana Republic jeans belonging once to my friend Emily--so comfy and great for mucking around in. My only reasons for ordering the jeans (one of which was "skinny" and the other a "boyfriend" pair which came with pre-made HOLES in it--ick!) are that a) they were on sale and b) they were trendy. I will consider this an experiment in trendy jeans gone wrong and return the jeans asap. I don't need new, supposedly stylish jeans. Mine are just, just fine.

Reptile

The underside of my chin feels very dry and scaly, I just noticed this morning. I feel just like a reptile!

End of the Jar

I have to say, I was a little bit disappointed with the Crunchy Salted Trader Joe's Peanut Butter I picked up a month or so ago. It didn't seem to have all the flavor a delicious peanut butter should have. Now, however, I understand its worth: it has the best end of jar peanut butter dregs ever! Yum. Scrape, scrape away with my butter knife and LICK . . . :)

Crazy Things I Do While Vegan

I just stuck an entire (small, but larger than cherry) tomato in my mouth and ate it, for a snack.

Two Indulgence

It's a two indulgence day. It's just that kind of day. (Thank you, God, for helping me get my password remembered!!) Oh, but my first indulgence was also two: two huge vegan cookies by the Alternative Baking Co. I needed them. The second indulgence is . . . after work I'm going to go to Wal-Mart and buy some yarn. I just NEED it. Sorta. Oh dear.

That Girl, pt. 2

How can one be a vegan and not be a crazy rabid vegan? This is the question that has arisen for me lately. I have always viewed with contempt those who make extreme changes in their diet (i.e. DAD) and then insist that everyone else should do the same--that, in fact, it is the only way to go. Nevertheless, I was recently surprised by my own reaction against this stupid Internet meme picture contrasting this woman (Gillian McKeith, about whom I actually know nothing) who apparently eats a restrictive, plant-based diet with Nigella Lawson, monger of delicious rich foods and gorgeous sexiness, and saying at the bottom, "I rest my case."

I could not restrain my ire on Facebook that anyone would actually find this a valuable argument, and I can't help but think it's because I AM eating vegan now and I am getting tired of all the, "Oh, being vegan is unhealthy because it's low in X, Y, and Z" or "Why deprive yourself?" crap I'm getting. So maybe it's more a defensive than an offensive position (and maybe, in fact, that's why so many people who eat on alternative diets seem so militant about them--the best defense is a good offense). But also: I really do feel great. Unlike every other "diet" or "fast" I've ever been on, this vegan thing really does not feel like deprivation. I haven't gotten cravings for butter, eggs, or cheese. I haven't even been tempted to cheat. This phenomenon, besides being truly remarkable, also makes it hard to relate to others who see (as I myself not so long ago saw) veganism as a tremendously difficult undertaking.

And so it probably is, unless you really want to do it yourself. I have to remember that any change anyone makes, to be effective and long-lasting, has to come from internal motivation and not from external pressure. In effect, it is as useless to provide external pressure on someone to change his diet as it is to continually pester somebody else to convert to Catholicism. Good example is the best one can hope to provide, especially a joyful and positive example. I don't have that much invested in others becoming vegan--even though I am starting to think this might last more than just a year for me--but I can't help but think it would be nice to see some friends try it and probably feel better and more whole.

I don't know. I guess I'm just writing this so that I don't become that militant vegan who sneers at animal fat consumers as the Less Enlightened. I do understand it's controversial and counter-cultural to be/eat vegan, but I'm ok with that. If it does cut down the length of the common cold (that I am currently experiencing), though, I'll be hard-pressed not to tout its benefits! :)

That Girl

I never thought I'd be that girl. That loud soprano who saunters into practice a half hour late and drowns out everyone else from her position in the back. One of my fellow sopranos told me last night, "I like having you in the back because you're so loud, I can really hear you!" This was not meant to be sarcastic, but it nevertheless gave me pause. Am I really singing so loudly? I still have this image of myself as the inexperienced, wimpy voiced soprano trying to blend with the girl next to me. I suppose that image is just out of date! I'm a diva now.

And there was never a truer or funnier YouTube video about choirs than this one!

A Word to the Healthy

For those who may be interested, though Ezekiel bread is good, Ezekiel "Pocket Bread" is NO GOOD. In fact, it is gross. It tastes like a gross, decroded whole wheat pita. Also in the No Good category is Earth Balance margarine; never was the word "buttery" so misapplied. If you have the Ezekiel pocket bread with some Earth Balance, like I just did, the gross flavors somewhat complement each other, forming a fusion of grossness and icky health food flavor that you'd better have some really strong curry to cover up. Luckily, my black beans with Indian simmer sauce did the trick. And salad greens with dill-infused vinegar. Does a body good!

What Kind of Texter Are You?

A breakdown of texting habits by generation

Telegram Texters - the Silent Generation
You see a text as a sort of telegram, and prefer to send them by dictating what you want to say to an available grandchild. As the features of a standard cellular phone continue to baffle you, you not-so-secretly wish people would stop sending you these "text messages" and make sounds of annoyance whenever your phone gives some indication of having received one. If you do send one yourself, you refrain from adding "STOP" to the end of each line, because that would double the length of time you already take to hunt around on the numpad for each letter you need.

Telephone Texters - Baby Boomers
You mistakenly believe that texting can work as a substitute for actually talking to your children. In fact, you are under the impression that teenagers respond better to texts and you are reaching them "on their level" by sending copious conversational text messages. Though unlike the previous generation, you have mastered the ability to enter words into your phone, autocorrect sometimes betrays you and your texts are featured on WhenParentsText.com.

Email Texters - Generation X
To you, a text message is a short form of email that you can send from anywhere. Look, you can attach a photo! So you do. All the time. In fact, many of your texts consists solely of pictures. You have been known to forward text messages. Ah, the amazing power of the Internet . . . ok, now back to Angry Birds or Farmville.

IM Texters - Generation Y
You grew up on the Internet and probably had more than one different instant message account in your formative years; perhaps you still do, and perhaps you still use ICQ--well, what's wrong with that? Anyway, texting is a way of continuing the instant, text-based conversation you were just having on your laptop in Panera. You use texting conversations to keep yourself amused in boring meetings and gatherings and to avoid that awkward person you don't want to talk to, because your attention is legitimately diverted from real life when you text. If you are honest with yourself, however, you'd rather type out your convo on a full-size keyboard.

Adaptive Texters - Generation Z
Texting is almost another bodily function for you. Your brain has evolved to be able to shift its attention so smoothly and seamlessly between texting and other things that (you think) no one can tell you're doing it. You think the kinds of texts that people older than you send are amusing, but not funny enough to laugh, just maybe smile ironically. If you can't send a text, play a video game, and talk back to your mom, all at once, your peers will label you a "noob."

At Least It's Modest: Leven Rambin

The gray lace--she is not wearing it, it is wearing HER. Or eating her? Scary.

Life Is Better with Makeup

Today I took the time to put on a little makeup, and it's amazing how nice it makes the world seem. I don't know, I guess I feel more in keeping with the prettiness of things. I even brought my illume soy candle to work today, to make my desk more festive and better smelling. I'm still celebrating Christmas, though I am taking a break from Christmas tunes to play Pure Moods on grooveshark! Talk about a blast from the past . . .

What You Really Want

I was discussing--ok, pontificating--with my friend Kathleen the other day and musing on the amazing power of advertising. They get you by appealing to your desires, in an insidious way. What you really want is not the product, but the lifestyle, the dream, the glamor, the shininess. Advertising is everywhere, in everything, including those craft sites that make the most inane nonsense look ever so cute. And maybe it's not the finished pot-holder you want, but the color or the idea or the wine glass in the background. Who knows. It's up to you to decide and realize what it is you want, before someone tells you.

At Least It's Modest: Maggie Gyllenhaal Edition

This outfit looks like something I would try to wear in my pre-teen years, only my mom would not let me out of the house like that. There is a reason she is one of the best moms ever.

Also, I find it somewhat startling that I was able to spell "Gyllenhaal" correctly on the first try . . . who knew I was so in touch with the celebrity world? :-/

Vegan for 2012

For those 1-3 of you who are still following my dieting saga, you will be pleased/aghast to note that I have decided to go Vegan for 2012!! I am not the only one, however, to make this drastic nutritional choice: the Williams sisters are also going vegan this year.